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Calling all Grooms over thinking their speech…we have the answers!
By Hannah Senior – Allerton Castle’s Wedding Planner   //  
Wed 27 Jun 2018
You need to think about a number of different aspects when writing your speech, but hopefully your worries, questions and hesitations will be answered in this step by step blog.


You need to consider how long your speech is going to be, traditionally speeches last 30 minutes (all of them). This allows 10 minutes for the Father of the Bride, 10 minutes for yourself and 10 minutes for the Best man. These timings do not include standing, toasting, clapping and laughing pauses. If you try aim for 1400 words this will be a good template for you to work by. Of course, some speeches might run on slightly longer than this, but you have to keep in mind that your guests will have just had a three course meal and are most likely going to want to have a few minutes to freshen up before the evening party commences.

People to thank:

You are the Groom, a lot is expected of you throughout the day, but just remember this opportunity isn’t going to happen very often, to publicly express how much your new Wife means to you.

Saying this, there are a handful of people it might be nice to mention for all their hard work.

Starting with thanking everyone for coming, be specific in mentioning any guests that have travelled particularly far.

The Parents:

Make sure if you are thanking the parents, to give both sets of parent’s equal mention! Start off with thanking your own parents for everything they have helped you with, then mention the Bride’s parents, you could at this point include some examples if they have particularly helped you with a certain aspect of your wedding day e.g. made the cake or attending several wedding fairs/venue viewings.


You will need the thank your best man (this might make him think twice about telling everyone that really embarrassing story he has lined up in his speech!)

Your Ushers for helping you make sure everyone knows where to be and when. Maid of Honour and Bridesmaids! Your Bride might have already done this but equally it is nice for them to know you appreciate their efforts as well.


Starting: Your opening line needs to be punchy and funny without being too confident and ‘full on’. It may be effective to start of with a light-hearted joke, this automatically relaxes people and they ease into your speech, also when your guests laugh at something you have said it gives you a little bit more confidence.

The structure of your speech needs to flow throughout. This means try not to list people you are going to thank, maybe try including it into a story or try and intertwine everyone into your whole speech.


Giving select individuals gifts, e.g. parents is a lovely and very generous thing to do and if this is the way you would like to thank them then by all means get them a little token gesture, although instead of giving them out during the speeches, you could mention towards the end of your speech, that you have a few gifts that you and your bride will be giving to …name….. personally, to show your appreciation and thanks.


When it comes to making jokes, don’t let it take over your speech, the best man will have plenty up his sleeve don’t worry! Equally you need some light, funny wedding related jokes incorporated into your speech. You don’t have to google wedding related jokes, you can make it personal to you both as a couple, e.g. your version of the story; when you first met. People like to feel like they have learnt something new about you both.

The main focus!

The main focus of your speech is your lovely new wife…of course! But it might be a good idea to save the best till last. By leaving it until last, it means you can slow down a bit more and take your time. People are also most likely to remember the last section of your speech which is a nice note to end on.

When describing your new wife, don’t use cliché terminology, make your speech the one people remember, think of unique, quirky words that describe how she looks, how lucky you are to have married her. Again, make it personal to you both.

Then your speech will only require you to ask all your guests to be standing, to raise their glasses and toast your blushing bride.

So… in a nut shell

Be confident…but not overly confident, you don’t want to come across like you are enjoying all the attention too much. Don’t be nervous, your speech should be so good that you can’t wait to share it with your guests.

Making family and friends laugh, with the odd tear from a parent, you will ooze confidence when delivering your speech.

Practise, practice and practise is the key! The more you practise the more confident you will be in knowing how to deliver your speech to have maximum effect.

And after all that… just breathe, enjoy.

Big thanks to Stuart James Photography, Joel Skingle, Mcdonald Jones Photography, Neil Jackson for the photos.